Cable Calamity
"Cable Calamity" is the second episode of Team Neighborhood. It was uploaded by the Greatdictator on August 20th, 2017. Plot As dawn breaks over Garry's Ville, the Administrator pulls up to the RED and BLU Ape-Houses with a pair of buses. At exactly 6:00 AM, both teams awake and board the buses, setting off to take part in a match. Later on in the day, the buses return with the teams. While RED sulks home in defeat, BLU has a party aboard their bus and quickly head to their rooms to celebrate. Upon entering the house, BLU Soldier slips on one of Demoman's rum bottles and gets himself killed. He respawns shortly after, and decides to watch some TV. He's unable to do so, however, because the BLU Ape-house has no cable due to a previous mishap that resulted in the Soldier accidentally shooting down a satellite. Soldier then goes to look for the spare satellite dish, which he finds in a closet. At the same time, each of the other members of BLU are celebrating the day's victory by watching videos on the Internet. BLU Spy is watching porn of his RED counterpart having sex with BLU Scout's mom while the BLU Scout decides to go on Rule 34 and masturbate to pony porn. While these are going on, BLU Soldier decides to go on the Internet and see if there's any good videos to watch. He then stumbles across a trailer for the season finale of a TV show called Game of Bones, ''which gets him very excited. Elsewhere, the BLU Engineer gets off to some suggestive art of robots, BLU Sniper watches a wildlife documentary in his tree-van, the Heavy watches a video on how to make a sandwich and the Medic watches a musical surgery video. And while all this is happening, JC gets a call at the Garry's Ville Communications Hub that tells him to destroy the Internet because "it's gotten really hokey" and they need to "start again". However, instead of pushing the button that disables the Internet for everyone, JC pushes a button that disables the Internet only for the BLU House, which then causes their Wi-Fi connector to explode and all of the team to lose their Internet connection. As soon as this happens, the entire team flies into a panic. Eight hours later, the BLU Soldier decides to cope with the loss of their house's Internet by making and snorting chocolate pudding. As soon as he snorts it, however, he goes down and has a dream of the Badwater incident, revealing that he injected into himself some cheat code steroids to give him an edge in the match. After a very psychedelic dream of those events, he then ends up in the same black void the RED Medic had visited in his dream last episode, with the mysterious beings from before now instructing him to steal RED's cable. Soldier initially refuses to do so, but quickly changes his mind when he finds that doing so will allow him to watch ''Game of Bones. At the end of the dream, BLU Soldier wakes up in his bedroom. After looking out the window and thinking to himself, he then decides to scout out RED's house. Upon heading there, he peeks through one of the windows to see the RED Demoman asleep on the couch, while the TV shows that Game of Bones will be on that night at 7:00 PM. Unfortunately, he's so engrossed in watching the preview on TV that he doesn't notice the RED Team has been alerted to his presence and is about to attack him. Back at BLU's house, Scout is "watching" TV (in reality, he just taped a crudely drawn picture of two animals having sex on the TV) when Soldier respawns after being killed by the RED Team. After the Soldier flips off Scout for talking back to him, he heads up to his room and notifies the other members of BLU via Morse Code. Later on, in the BLU Basement, the entire team gathers together for a briefing from the Soldier. At the start of the meeting, the Soldier declares that they can live without the Internet because "they're hot-blooded Americans" (even though only at least three members of the Team are actually American, they don't tell him that because he's on a roll). He then flips the chalkboard over, accidentally revealing the Medic's plan to invade France through Belgium, which causes the Medic to leave almost immediately. After that slight hiccup, Soldier changes the image on the board to show his plan for stealing the RED Team's cable. Upon seeing the plan, BLU Scout says he hears that Game of Bones has nudity. In response, Soldier explains that it is the greatest show on Earth because it has "nudity, violence, dragons, skeletons, and tits", and so they all need to watch it. Soldier's description of the show excites the entire team, who wholeheartedly agree with his plan to steal their rivals' cable. The first attempt to RED's cable involves Scout simply running across the street with a wire cutter and cable in hand, only for him to get run over by a pirate ship and the Patty Wagon. When this fails, Medic is then sent out, successfully crossing the street. His attempt fails, however, when RED Sniper shows him an apple. With their Medic reduced to a shuddering wreck, BLU Soldier decides to send BLU Spy over. His attempt gets a little farther than Medic's, with him knocking out RED Sniper by tricking him into sniffing a hankerchief covered in chloroform. But he fails when he trips over one of the Sniper's jars of Jarate. While their Spy takes a traumatizing shower, BLU Heavy then carries out his own attempt with the help of Medic, whom he's managed to slap some sense into. After getting ubercharged, the BLU Heavy and Medic charge their way through the RED house, knocking out the RED Scout and stealing a TV set. This TV Set, however, is not directly connected to RED's cable, and so they can't watch anything on it. The BLU Pyro is then sent out. He attempt is surprisingly simple, as he has a long unintelligble conversation with their RED counterpart, presumably asking him if he could borrow his team's cable. Although it seems to be going alright, it ends with the BLU Pyro being thrown back into the BLU house and getting set on fire. For their attempt, the BLU Sniper and Demoman decide to go and buy a cable package instead of trying to steal it from RED. This leads to a crazy journey as the Demoman drunkenly sticky launches his truck into the air and runs over multiple pedestrians on the street while the BLU Sniper hallucinates his friend as a bagpipe-playing demon surrounded by a Scottish hellscape. Despite the chaos that ensues, the duo somehow manage to make it to the cable store, asking the cashier for a basic cable package while offering him a briefcase full of money. However, the money proves to be insufficient for the cable package, leaving the duo's effort as yet another failure. Frustrated by the failures of his teammates, the BLU Soldier decides to go steal RED's cable himself. On his first attempt, he accidentally blows himself up when trying to rocket jump. On the second attempt, Soldier uses his Rocket Jumper to launch himself into the air, only for him to realize he forgot to pack his B.A.S.E. Jumper when he falls back to Earth. For his third and final attempt, the BLU Soldier then brings his B.A.S.E. Jumper with him this time, only for the wind to blow him off course and leading to him landing in someone else's backyard, getting mauled by "misprogrammed artichoke dip". After Soldier respawns in the BLU House, Engineer enters the room and declares that they "just ain't doin' it right." BLU Engineer then reveals that he can steal RED's cable by threading it through a teleporter system. With only a few minutes left before the start of the Game of Bones season finale, Soldier quickly agrees to let the Engineer carry out his plan. The Engineer then quickly makes his way to the RED House and carries out his plan, setting up the teleporter and rewiring the house's cable connection so that it runs through the teleporter and into the BLU House. He pulls it off just as the show starts. BLU Engie is only able to appreciate his work for a few seconds, however, before the RED Heavy notices him outside and gives chase. RED Heavy is stopped, however, by the BLU Spy, still covered in Jarate, and is forced to retreat back to the RED House in shame. BLU Spy then joins the rest of the team as they prepare to watch Game of Bones. '' Unbeknownst to BLU, they cannot actually control what they watch, as when RED Demoman, asleep on the couch, rolls over the remote, the channel is changed to ''Oi! Fuck You! Friendship is Magic, which BLU Scout is more than eager to watch. While the show runs, the rest of the team is quickly turned off by the show and vacates the room. BLU Soldier, however, breaks down, saying that this was supposed to be "his day" and that he wanted "bone battles, bone tits" and "bone boning" while Demoman just drowns his sorrows by drinking, as always. Later on, in the post-credits scene, it's shown that the BLU Soldier has smashed the TV in a rage, leaving BLU Scout to sulk on the stairs, disappointed he can't watch his show While Soldier sobs on the table in the dining room, the Medic tries to comfort him by saying that they could just pirate Game of Bones once the Internet is fixed. Just outside the window, however, a Spy-bot is revealed to be watching them before cloaking and quickly disappearing from view. Category:Episodes